Lao Shi

This past week my resignation officially became public news at the school.

In typical school fashion, my students heard the news through rumor and gossip before I officially announced it to them. I sent an email to members of the administration venting my frustration at this, as I found it distressing for students to learn about me leaving second hand. The next day, the same day the students found out their Science teacher also resigned, a letter was sent home reassuring students and families that my replacement would be qualified and my leaving was just a natural part of the school’s growth. With a second teacher announcing their resignation, the letter seemed to only add to the students’ sense of confusion and lack of confidence in the school, and rumors began to fly around the student body as to the reasons for our departure.

The news of two teachers simultaneously resigning seems to have touched a nerve throughout the community, and reactions have been diverse as the contents of my resignation letter quickly spread around. I have decided to post the letter here for transparency’s sake.

Some teachers approached or emailed me to say that they feel the same way about the school. Whether Christian or not, many teachers seem unhappy and unsatisfied with the school administration. I have come to realize in the past week that the community here is more varied then I acknowledged, and certainly more nuanced and diverse than my posts depict, as I have written only on the more extreme missionary actions of the Christian community. Some teachers are church goers, but they too are not satisfied living and working here. Unfortunately the school has such a repressive and cliquey culture that talking openly in a proactive way about change is not encouraged, and too many teachers and staff feel that their concerns and suggestions for improvement, when they do reach the administration, fall on deaf ears.

Other teachers distanced themselves from me or criticized my views or the wording of my letter, which I toned down from my first draft in a manner that weakened the overall impact. I received one email informing me that the school is “not a Christian school” and that I had it all wrong (of course, the writer didn’t say anything about my jabs at the professional culture of the school, and I can only speculate how this person found out what I wrote). This is certainly true on paper – the school is not officially a Christian school, nor can it be, as Chinese law allows only international schools to have religious affiliations (ours is technically a Chinese private school), though the administration certainly seems to tolerate (if not outright encourage) a very visible Christian presence in the school. As a result of my resignation, the students have become aware of the schism between Christian and non-Christian teachers, while I have become aware that there are even schisms within the community of Christian teachers as to the extent in which they approve of Christianity’s intrusion into school life.

I did not send my resignation letter to the principal, because after our previous two meetings (see this, for example) I knew my criticisms and concerns about the school would not be well-received and would stop with him. Instead I sent the letter to his boss, the school chancellor, and met with her outside of school hours and off-campus to discuss my unhappiness living and working here. She provided me an open forum for presenting both criticisms and suggestions for improving the school, and was a more receptive audience than the principal has ever been, though who knows whether any real change will come of our meeting – and I certainly won’t be here to find out.

One especially moving part in the turbulence of the past week was the reaction of my students, most of who were both terribly sad to see me go, and also extremely angry at the administration. Their anger results only in part from two of their teachers resigning, but also because we are two of many teachers who have left the school, whether mid-year or after only staying for one year. They also saw a connection between their English and Science teachers: we cared for them, tried to treat them as individuals, and attempted to engage them in lessons, activities and discussions rather than bore them to death with textbook exercises and worksheets. A very brave student, inspired by the documentary Citizen King, about Martin Luther King Jr. and the Civil Rights Movement, wrote a beautiful letter to the principal expressing her gratitude for both our teaching methods and general classroom demeanor, and expressing her dismay over how the school does not encourage teachers like us to stay or find ways of making us happy here. I’ve never read such a moving testament to my work as a teacher, and it was powerful to read it in front of the students – we had a big group bond of anger and sadness given voice by this amazingly perceptive and mature young woman.

I’ve heard that the girl met with the principal, and that, not surprisingly, he didn’t even finish reading the letter. He continues to put up a smokescreen that he cares for people and values their input, while his actions show otherwise. The quintessential middle-manager, he is removed from the goings on in the classroom and the lives of his students, and beholden to the company mukety-mucks, with no true authority of his own. He doesn’t realize that no one is fooled by his empty rhetoric. Until the principal and those working closely above and with him come to value people as individuals – whether caring and creative teachers, well-intentioned and hardworking staff members, or motivated and concerned students – this school will continue to be a morass of frustration and repression and anger and gossip and teeth gnashing.

I hope that other families will be inspired by this young woman’s courage to speak her mind honestly and clearly, and that parents will join the struggle to insist that the school provide their students with a higher-quality education than that which is currently being given. An open conversation between parents, students and teachers would reveal many of the same issues and criticisms of the school – but until someone at the top actually admits that there is a problem and commits themselves to seriously solving it, no change will ever come.

Unfortunately my frustrations with living and working here have simply hit a wall, and I can’t silently condone the school’s dysfunction and inherent religious mission by working here any longer. It is best for me to head home, and while I am excited to see my family and friends again, my parting is with a troubled mind and a heavy heart.